The story of James

its been a while since i posted one,mostly because nothing much to post actually.but i got sum pretty good events that happened before:)

story 1 :-

andy subscribed to digi’s MTV powerpack. soon, he was receiving various sorts of gossip’s and news about celebrities from digi. Andy was confused, since he has NO IDEA who was sending him all this messages. After some time, Andy couldnt take it anymore.andy made a futile attempt into stopping the gossip’s sent to him.when he received a message,he replied to the number ” eh who is this la? dont send me anymore message like this la,i dont want ok?”

story 2:-

(this is meant to kenakan your berlagak nature,so im gonna put your REAL name!)

Prem Kumar a/l sumthing sumthing,was in the class with his friends…it was a big class,120 students and the lecture was quite boring..so,james took out sum sweets and passed it to his friends. when he offered some to prem kumar, prem said ” i dont need any sweets.im already a very sweet person”

PERASAN!!!

ambik kau

Prem Kumar is also known for his ‘girl’ name, premila kumari.

Story 3:-

james uncle is a Lecturer now,but previously he was an english teacher for many many years. One day, as he was out with his friend,and it started to drizzle. The friend said ” aiya,the rain is coming!”

Being the english teacher, my uncle corrected the sentence, ” its going to rain!” he said

“no la!” the friend replied ” the rain is coming to us what…the rain is not going anywhere,its coming here! you use going only when the rain is going sumwhere,now the rain not going anywhere,it is coming to us! so, the rain is coming la,not going to rain! you english teacher also dont know this one ar!?”

james uncle was unable to debate further.

story 4:-

Monkey (thats a person’s name!) went clubbing one day with his friends. he was drinking and dancing and drinking, well,naturally,he got drunk. after some time,monkey and friends left the club.monkey was pretty wasted,lets say. on his way out,he saw a hot chick with 2 big round boobs and a slim waist.monkey approached her,and started dancing with her,couldnt take his eyes off the 2 big orbs:P his friend were all pulling him away from ‘her’.

the next day,monkey woke up,and his friend told how drunk he was till he danced with the parking meter.

horrible day is a nice way to put it.pitiful day is more like it.perhaps this story will tell us not to be too drunk all the time:P

  this happened a few days back.freak,oops,i mean dre and his friend got really pissed off drunk and wasted.but he doesnt have a car to get back home,and his house is pretty far.so dre called up a friend and said he would like to stay over.sure,his friend said,so after the party,dre took the train back to his friend’s house in copenhagen.

he boarded the train at sharp 6 am.the train there must be pretty on time,coz dre set his alarm clock to 630am,which is about the time he arrive in copenhagen. (if it was STAR lrt,im sure he would have passed by the train station:P luckily dre isnt from malaysia:P)

then,dre fell asleep.he awoke when he heard the train announcement "Taastrup, Taastrup"…sumhow,dre’s highlly developed senses at that particular moment believed that he was at the right station,so he got off the train!
he was soooo  convinced that this was the right station,that he got out of the station,and started walking on a random trail. he took notice of a small garden and houses which he has never seen before, and he continued walking,on this trail he has never been,convinced that at the end of this trail,he would reach his friend’s house.

his alarm rang then,about 15 minutes later.he took out his phone,looked at it as it says "get down here"…..he looked right..then left..saw some weird buildings and roads he never been to..and started wondering "where the f**k am i?"

he then realized,that he actually came down the wrong station!!! ( wow,such highly developed senses!)  he walked back all the way to the station,and saw the word hanging there " Taastrup". he took a look at the surrounding,and it looks NOTHING like copenhagen!~!!! he walked 2 km at 6 in the morning,FOR NOTHING~!

he bought another ticket,and boarded the next train.the train was still not full,and had plenty of spaces to sit.so,he took a seat,and fell asleep:P he was woken up by the ticket lady,he gave her the ticket,and the lady said,"boy,this ticket has expired! you’ve passed your station!"
dre got sooo pissed off at himself.tired,wasted and sleepy,he got off the train at the next stop,and bought another ticket!!"copenhagen please!"he said to the ticket counter.he was determined to not fall asleep this time.he was pretty much sure he has sobered a lot,that he could go on to reach copenhagen without dozing off. he took a look at the indicator,and it says next train….20 minutes.

………………………………….

DOESNT MATTER!! he was determined NOT to fall asleep!! he waited for the train to come,and it did,20 minutes later! he boarded the train,knowing he was only a few stations away,and he could stay awake.seconds later,he fell asleep.

again,he woke up past the station,got another ticket,went back into the train,this time,he arrived at his destination:D!!

well done to dre! lets all give him applause!
*clap clap clap*

he walked back to his friends house,went to the bed,took a look at his watch,as it shows 920am.he wasted so much time to get here.he closed his eyes.

930 am,his friend called him up.dre was suppose to follow him to get sum stuff from the store,which they planned earlier.and it seems like this friend is outside waiting for him:P so,he had no choice,he had to follow him:P

20 minutes sleep:D! not bad for a tired,sleepy wasted person:D still,i think dre had enough sleep while he was in the train,dont you agree:)?

Ramblings of James :  <skip this part> its been 5 months now since the day jane dumped james.5 months aint short,not too long either,but getting over her totally isnt easy.and to make things harder,jane had to call james 3 days ago,and due to some misunderstanding,they ended up in a quarrel (thanks to a certain someone that i dont know who). in which jane had openly admitted that james has never been nice to her.wow,thats a hard one,not after everything done huh?but not all quarrels end up badly,some can end up to be…quite…entertaining:) enjoy the next story then.

**The Quarrel**
  it was a boring day for steve and james.and as usual,they needed to do something!fortunately,on that night james uncle wasnt around,(coz usually he sleeps in the living room),so steve came over and they decided to watch some super duper funny anime! FULL METAL PANIC!! few minutes later,khoo khoo dicky called.he said he wanted to join em,since he too is perhaps equally bored:P
Khoo khoo dicky came over,and all 3 of them were watching anime.it was a pretty funny one,they laughed and laughed non stop.but sumhow,the laughter died off when khoo khoo dicky asked james about something.(i would keep the details to myself,since its a bit,er,,,childish:P) sumhow,the fun night turned ugly.khoo khoo dicky got totally pissed at james,and vice versa.james seriously believes he was right on this one,but khoo khoo dicky insist that he was right.they quarreled so badly,that khoo khoo dicky was walking out of the door already.james and steve followed him,and they went up to the front gate outside,and still quarreling.

   it could be pretty freaky for beginners.steve was just looking,never saying a word.james was like scolding off khoo khoo dicky and dicky was like pointing a finger at james.it could seriously get pretty ugly from the way it was going.steve couldnt take it,he left without a word.
steve left home,got to his bed,lied down and wondering.what happened suddenly? all of a sudden,they were laughing and fighting,next thing,they were quarreling over sumthing stupid.how could it turn out to be this bad?

    half hour passed.steve was still pondering over the question,when he got a phone call.it was james. "dude,"he said,breathing hard, " you get to get here man!!hurry! i punched khoo khoo dicky nose,and its bleeding! i dont know what to do!hurry man!" steve said alright,put the phone down and opened up his drawer.he was looking for his first aid box,but couldnt find it.he didnt want to waste too much time,so he ran out of the house,tried to reach james house as fast as he could.he saw james standing barefooted outside his front gate,waving at steve to run faster.

steve ran into the house.wondering how bad the situation could be.when he opened the front door,he saw khoo khoo dicky standing perfectly fine,recording everything with his camera phone.steve turned around and saw james was laughing at him either.it didnt seem like khoo khoo dicky was hurt…it took a while..then it came to him…HE HAS BEEN FOOLED!!

he tries futilely to kick khoo khoo dicky,he was angry! how could he have fallen for this trick!?james was technically laughing his ass off to see steve in such a worried expression:P then,more stuff made sense to steve.how could james have punched khoo khoo dicky,and be fine himself? how come there isnt any blood of the floor outside the front gate? how come james was so mean to leave his friend inside with a bleeding nose and stay outside waiting for steve?

it all made sense to him..the whole thing was a set up! he was the entertainment item of the day!! sigh sigh,pity steve.do be careful,james and friends can be very tricky:P khoo khoo dicky made steve say sumthing in the end,and recorded it too.

"hi,my name is steve.and i just got punk’d"

hunger…hunger has caused many problems.millions of people around the globe have died of hunger…food,is an important necessity,and we need it badly.

steve,phatdil and james were hungry too…steve had this domino’s discount vouchers,so they went to grab some pizza! took them a while to decide where is domino’s located,not a place always visited. they found a domino’s at taman maluri,on the way to jaya jusco.

they reached there,the domino’s was pretty small.it only had 3 tables.steve made the order,one chicken pepperoni and extravaganza.also a bottle of coke,and some breadsticks (geez,my blog is starting to sound like bi lin’s one!!)

they waited quite a while,none of their food came…waited and waited…then they saw the sign "29 minutes or 5 dollars off!" they thought they waited long enough,only to learn that the 5 dollars is off for the NEXT pizza,thats dumb,why would they want to spend more:S

then,one of the workers came and ask are them are they taking away or eating in…they told him they are eating in,waiting and want their food!! he then went back,and brought the coke and couple of paper cups…seriously,paper cups…phatdil took the paper cup and said "eh,ini macam cawan birthday party jer" he said it quite loudly,i suppose the workers heard it:P

the pizza and breadstick came.the pizza came in the cardboard box made for delivery.we were given no knife and fork,no plates:P for james and phatdil,it was ok,but for steve,he had some problem with his teeth,he can chew but he cant bite:D
james told steve to tear the pizza with his fingers like a barbarian,but steve didnt want to he tried his best to bite on the pizza:P

it took them forever to finish up 1 regular pizza:P then,they opened the extravaganza pizza.it was soooo full of vegetables,there is no way james would be eating it! so,phatdil and steve was to eat it.steve claimed he was too tired to eat..too tired:P must be because biting the pizza was hard work for him:P he bite,pulled,and pulled harder just to get one mouthful of pizza:P all the while staring at the workers,for making his life miserable:P

and the worst part is,they couldnt finish it!check it out,3 teenage boys cant finish 2 regular pizza!~!! ok james can be excused,you see,he dont eat vege,so he cant finish the 2nd pizza.steve too,he has trouble biting,so he can be excused! but phatdil…huh? a healthy young boy like him shouldnt have trouble eating pizza!! instead,they brought it back home…kinda embarassing for phatdil, his eating standards is so low..sigh…

they paid the bills,and went back home.sweating,(the place is closed,but the aircond is barely on!) tired and exhausted.it was the most tiring dinner ever,was like after a workout session:P

**story 1**
  james and friends went to class,as usual.this happened way back during foundation year.for the very first time,they reached the class before the lecturer came in(which is a big thing,coz they usually dont!) it was calculus time:) endra was telling james and all his friends,how this calculus lecturer reminds him of his school teacher.he said she too teaches maths,and they look strikingly similar! to endra,sometimes calculus class makes him feel like he is back in school again.(he did say that!).the lecturer walked into the classroom after endra said that.as soon as she opens the door and walks in,endra stood up straight,preparing to wish " selamat sejahtera cikgu"

**story 2**
james and friends went to tioman.endra was at the pool bar,sitting down and ordering waves of liquor after liqour.he made the bartender mix new assorted drinks that is not even in the menu.the bartender worked up and down,just to get him drunk! but they werent able to! endra went like "come on brother,is this the best you got!?" he kept drinking,and still could talk well,and fully sober of his actions! it was a surprise to the bartender.then,when everyone was done,and james called endra back,endra turned around,tried to wake up from the seat,and fell straight into the pool.

**story 3**

  khoo khoo dicky’s father’s car is heavily tinted.people from the outside could not possibly see the inside.one fine day,a guy came over,used his father’s car window as a mirror,and starting combing his hair,unaware of people inside the car watching him.the father scrolled the window down,and said " ah ok,sudah cukup hensem"

here are few of the funny things that happened around,things that striked my mind as i was reading a few stuff.
STORY 1:
  james mother called him from her office,she told james to put the curry in the fridge,so later during dinner time they can reheat it and eat it.james,being the obedient son,did exactly what he was told.later in the evening,his mother wanted to reheat the curry.she opened the fridge but she couldnt find the curry in there.about a minute later,she shouted, " JAMES!! WHY DID YOU PUT THE CURRY IN THE FREEZER!!!"

STORY 2:
  khoo khoo dicky was talking to his girlfriend,they were being all mushy mushy and stuff,hugging and all.he felt that he should tell her how much she means to him,that she is irreplaceable and priceless,that nothing in this world compares to her.he looked into her eyes,and said " audrey,you have no value"

STORY 3:
  azfa and james went to burn a program from a friends computer.the program was big,coz when james sent it to the cd burner drive,it would take 20 minutes.so they went for a drink.after that,they went back.james told azfa to go get the CD,he would be waiting in yogi’s room.after a few minutes,azfa came back,holding the CD,and he said "dude,it didnt work man! its all empty!i dont know why,the CD didnt burn!"
james looked back at azfa,and asked him " did you click write this file to CD?"
azfa just looked blankly at james,and walked back out of yogi’s room

its a bit outdated,but a friend of mine wanted me to write about this,so i wrote:)

the chronicles continues!! this time,james,steve and a new person never featured in the blog before,lynn had a wonderful adventure!

the original plan was for steve,james,lynn and her friend,pinpinpinpin to go to the bday bash.it was supposed to be a great party with many bands performing (it was actually:P).but 45 minutes before james was about to leave his house to start picking up everyone,pinpinpinpin sent a SMS.it read " sorry,i headache when i woke up today.i cant go"

well,that leaves only 3 of us then.james picked steve up,and they drove to lynn’s house.when lynn got into the car,she said "pinpinpinpin not coming,she has a stomach ache"

huh? maybe,the stomach and the head is connected thru sum unknown neural network or sumthing,i dont know,im no doctor:S but thats how it is. either that,or lynn got her info wrong:P

they reached the location,1 Utama an hour earlier.they walked around,ate lunch at sushi king (the people there can say irashaimase….they sounds like "masih masin!")
seriously,they shouldnt force people to say japanese word and make it sound like malay:S

walked around a bit more (sounds like damn bored huh) after lunch,they went to MPH bookstore.this is the place where james met some REALLY cute little girls,pulling a baby pram with a small baby boy inside.the girls were about 7 year old i think.one of the girl bent down and kissed the baby boy,then the other girl showed a face of surprised and said to her " you just kissed him,you like him dont you!"

then,the other girl replied " no,he is my cousin"

"yes he is your cousin," she replied " but he is going to be my boyfriend one day,dont kiss him!"

………………………………
wow,….when i was 7,kids werent that naughty…hell,im 22,girls still arent that naughty! *to all girls reading,please be naughtier,if not,im gonna be bored:P

end of walking around,they went to the BDAY bash:D!!! was AWESOME!!
one of the earliest performers was point blanc! i loved him since he was in poetic ammo,with that long black hair and all,look damn ganas.(ok la for a pretty boy:P)
i was waiting for point blanc,then when he came out,he was in some sneakers,with his yellow hair,shorts and glasses.he looked like he popped out from sungai wang!
it took me a while to digest that is point black,geez he look soooo AH BENG!

pop shuvit did a wonderful job or getting the crowds hyped up!certainly,the best band in malaysia. we also got to learn the real name of the lead singer of pop shuvit(murali,lol,sounds sooo indian again:P)

lynn got totally excited and jumping around when she saw rudy! she went to him and wanted to catch a picture.rudy then hugged her and james caught the pic.then,rudy hugged the next girl who wanted to catch a pic,and the next,and the next one too…..i wanna be a Radio DJ…..

then,a guy in yellow tshirt suddenly came and stood in front of us.he then went mad when one buck shot was performing..shouting out some guy name and then "i love you,ARGGH!!"

i suppose james and lynn figured it out,that he was gay.but steve didnt.the guy in yellow then put his hand around steve’s shoulder,and asked if he has a stick.(not that stick la!i mean a cigaratte!) pretty freaky,but steve didnt realize.the guy in yellow was  totally mad! when the lead guitarist of one buck shot came running down to the crowd,he totally hugged him and didnt wanna let him go! the RELA had to come and separate them (geez like long lost lovers)

after hours of dancing and banging our head,they left. they had to leave earlier,everyone was so darn tired and all,couldnt do anything much:S
as they were walking back,Jason Lo performed "old newspaper".they straight away turned around back to the place,just to hear that one last song:P!

the crowd was frigging huge,12000 people came,a lot of girls and all,more would have came i believe,but there was another party in KL tower at that time.
at the end of the day,they went back home satiesfied:) the end:)

*nothing so funny in this chapter,but its a request,so i wrote it.more funny stuff will come soon. steve and phatdil are back from their studies,and we are bound to have more funny stuff around.coming soon*

see also http://snowpuffs.blogspot.com/

**Hall of Fame chapter 2**

    it is now finals time in uniten,and everytime final approaches,i often remember an old tale,happened about 2,3 years back.we were still in foundation back then,cant remember what sem.

    when finals take place,as usual,like any other students,we study.all of us would come over to one apartment.we usually go over to endra’s apartment.i dont know why,but everyone goes there.yogi will be there listening to linkin park will we study.endra will concentrate like a mad fool,and out of no where,he will suddenly just sing a line of a song,like " IM leaving..on a JET PLANE!" …..and it will come out of no where:P i will be on the table,trying to solve a question,and everytime i do,i’ll end up shouting " YES!! im a GENIUS!"

people are really funny when we study.we do weird weird stuff.but you see,while we were studying one night,the night before physics 2,as usual,we were all studying.all but one person, little J. little J was just walking around,wearing his shorts,carrying the text book,on for about 2 hours,he was just repeating this line..

"gausian law is…e…gausian law is…"
he repeated the formula SOOO many times,that even i remembered it eventho i havent studied that chapter.

little J then took a look at the clock.it was 12 midnight.he then turned around and told us "i cant seem to get into the studying mood.i’ll go and take a nap,and wake up 3 hours later.i’ll study all the way till exam then"

he went to bed,while all of us were busy studying.couple of hours passed by.it was then,that a very mischievous idea came to my mind.he only knew one formula,with that,he probably wont even be able to answer one question.i then walked quietly into little J’s room,took his clock.and wind it to 840 am. (the test was at 9 am:P) then,i told endra to go and wake him up:P

endra went to his room,wrapped himself up in a towel,so it appears that he just came out of the bath,and he walked into little J’s room.

"little J,wake up man" he said " go and get ready,we have to go to test already"

little J woke up with a sleepy face,did sum stretching moves,and then took a look at his clock.his eyes opened so big,that it would seem that it might pop out anytime!

F*CK!! he shouted! he tried to free himself of the blanket,only to get more tangled up.he was practically spinning on his own bed,gotten hit by so much panic,and he,for unknown reason,stood up and ran out of the room!! frantic,full of panic and totally out of his mind!!

he ran out of the room,turned his head left,and saw all of us.then,together we burst out into laughter,we laughed like mad men:P little J could only look at us back,anger showing in his eyes,and he said "yeah yeah,very funny"

endra walked out of the room,removing his towel,revealing that he still has his shorts on,and he didnt actually take a bath:P
Little J looked at his phone,it showed 2 am.

it was a good laugh at the end of the day.and little J got very scared,he didnt dare sleep anymore that night:P

  ever since we were young,we were always thought to be good and nice to others.we were thought manners,respect,and many other good behaviors.
but have you ever thought,why be good? because someone told you? or because your religion says,be good,you go to heaven.be bad,you are condemned to hell.be good,are you are repaid for your kindness.those that are bad,let them be,because what goes around,comes around.
when you think correctly,all this is in truth,wrong.even if you are a bad person,you still get good stuff.and even if you are good,you get bad stuff happening to you too.
as a matter of fact,bad people get more advantages.a decent man has to work for many hours to get some good food on the table.a smuggler gets it instantly.a good girl would get dumped by a bad guy,and she ends up crying all time,while he enjoys himself with other girls.
perhaps,all this while,we are mistaken.we shouldnt be good.the nicer we are,the more we suffer.

there is no return in doing good.and it is still ok if you want to do good with no returns,but why bother doing good,when all you get back is more bad stuff towards you?

do not be good.stop being kind and nice before it is too late.trust me.kindness brings you suffering.

THE CHRONICLES OF TTK

this will be a new blog,it is not a continuation of james and jane,but a totally new one.it will feature the same things as before,and hopefully brings laughter to everyone again (and embarassment at the same time:P)

HALL OF FAME

CLASSIC 1 : JUST NOT YOGI’S DAY

    perhaps,friday is always the most hated day for yogi.it is the day where he has to go to the lab,the ever dangerous and terrifying, manufacturing processes lab.

    memories of his first lab session still haunts him. the tutor has asked yogi to read the micrometer reading shown in the slide. well,its alright if you dont know how to read it,but i was already whispering to him

        "psst,yogi,its 4.34 cm" i told him. yogi perhaps did not hear me,as he was just sitting idle with his mouth open looking at the slides:P

"yogi,its 4.34 cm!" i told louder "4.34 cm la!!!!"

         i practically spoke loud enough that even the tutor could hear it."there,you friend just gave you the answer " the tutor said " so what is it?"

      but,for some reason,yogi was still just staring blankly at the slides.god knows what he was actually thinking,but because he was SOOOO blur and unable to answer that question,the tutor picked on him the whole day and asked a lot of questions to him:P fortunately,this time,he was able to answer some of it:P

     well,today is the day where we do drilling.yogi was afraid that things wont go his way again,everytime he comes to this lab,something he does wont be right:P but,he was able to drill the workpiece correctly,do it all right,and get the job done on time too:D!

     he was rejoicing,wondering perhaps his ugly fate at the lab has changed.that he was finally able to do this right! then,all of us took our work piece metal to the carving area.here,we have to carve our names and ID number using a hammer and some kinda,hmm,how do you call it,something that is like a rubber stamp,just that it is made of iron and you gotta bang it with the hammer so it makes the sign on your metal:P (sorry,me dumb,dunno what you call it:P)

so,yogi took his work piece.and started engraving his name.then,he took the piece written the number "4". here comes the funny part,ALL of us saw that he was going to stamp it UPSIDE DOWN:P and BAM! yeaps,he did it.he got the 4 upside down.he couldnt run away from the blunder,and it gave us all some good laughs:P then,one of my friend,premila kumari,took the stamp thingy,and gave it to yogi "now,stamp it this way! and be more careful!"

yogi took it,turned it upside down,and BANG! he knocked it upside down,AGAIN!

………………………

it was still a mystery to us why did he turn the stamp upside down.i mean,premila gave it to him in the correct position,he just couldnt simply bang it normally:P

with both sides tainted wrongly,he went to see the tutor."how can you make such a simple mistake,TWICE?" he just nodded the head,and told him its ok,he know its the number 4,even if it is upside down. everyone really laughed and enjoyed themself that day:P to us,yogi gives us some entertainment in lab,so we enjoy having him around:D

still,yogi was able to complete the work and assignments well,(despite small careless mistakes ALL THE TIME:)

he was able to get an A for the lab tho:D well done yogi!!