The story of James

     i was thinking for some time,how do i finish my story of james and jane. it took me a while,and i actually considered making it permanent,but many events that happened has considered me to end this story.first of all, jane is now being extra careful and is trying not to humiliate herself. that,is apparently not working,for she declares herself to be a walking embarassment:P

      another reason is because people are starting to get ideas about writing blogs about how careless their friends can be.i went to yumcha that day, and was talking with one of my friend, and he said,he is now writing stories about the dumb things his friends often does. dont get me wrong,it is totally your choice,but just for everyone’s information, the story of james and jane is 70% true,30% modified. the embarassing moments that jane did which is written in this story,are not actually in any way,embarassing. at the end of the day, all events written here are events that jane actually laughed at herself for doing it. there were many other moments that jane has embarassed herself,but she had not found it funny. thus, this are events are kept secret,and not revealed.the story of james and jane was inspired by the true life events that took place in the life of two person.and in this story, a great big secret is actually hidden.thus, if you are writing such a blog, please keep in mind that certain people might not like it,and might consider it offensive that you make fun of them.
    why write the story of james and jane? for starters,it is to share the laughter with everyone else. but truthfully, it works most of the time when james is unhappy about jane,all he does is read this story,and remember one of the few things that took place before,just to cheer himself up.and this story,does contain a great big secret,as i said:) perhaps later,somewhere in this post,i will reveal it.
   many,do not think that james and jane belong together. as a matter of fact,they are not totally wrong.james and jane dont really have much things in common. many things that they actually dislike about each other. jane totally dislike the way james drives. and she HATES it when he goes driving with his friends. well,you cant blame her, james can be a BIT dangerous,but honestly,he surely knows what he is doing at his favourite road:S james on the other hand,LOVES to drive, that he even thinks about driving when he is sleeping:P
   jane meanwhile, cant hear any RnB tune. if she does,she cant stop dancing. well, the thing is,if she really wants it, she can be VERY sexy, hot and seductive when she is dancing. which is why james doesnt like jane dancing with anyone else, coz no sane man would keep their hands off:P
  they dont like many of each other’s friends as well. jane thinks that some of james friends are annoying and noisy and uncivilized, james thinks that many of jane’s friends are liars, show offs,fakers,plastics, rich spoilt kids, think ur above everyone else, BIG HEADED (yeah dickie,i miss that term man:D) and the list goes on.
  as a matter of fact, many of jane’s friends actually do not like them being together:) perhaps,some of it,even jane does not know about. many have asked jane whether is she bored yet with james, or better, many have asked her when she is planning to leave me:D
  even the feng shui expert lillian too said that they cant be together! (unless james compromise a lot,which is something that wont happen:P)

   but you see,no matter what you tell them,nor the dislikes they have to go thru and the hardship that needs to be endured,it doesnt really matter because this two,actually live in a separate dimension,away from the earth rules:D

well,this shall be the final paragraph of this story:) i hope everyone enjoyed it finally,i would like to reveal the biggest secret that is actually hidden within this story,one that has not been mentioned before , and the key point to the success of this story.i am james:P (LOL,i bet you guys didnt know that!)

once upon a time, they were 2 bored people,who didnt know what to do. they were james and jane. james wanted to go watch movie, jane wanted to go to nose. james wondered….NOSE? uh…fine…he didnt know jane wanted to had a nose job done (its fine actually,dont worry too much about it). so,they went to klcc,according to jane,they can watch movie there,and at the same time go to nose.(they show types of nose?)
  when they arrived at klcc, after buying the movie ticket..they went to nose. they were no nose in nose.thats utter DUMBNESS. they were SHOES! why call the shop NOSE? why not call it FEET or LEGS?
well,the shop punya pasal…lets not bother about that:) well,of coz, jane pointed out that timberland also has shoes…but there arent made from timber or associated with timber in anyway! but lets not go too in depth about the names of shops:P
  well, jane didnt see any nose..i mean,shoes she liked. and no,they werent really any nice shoes too,according to james,who is know one of the best fashion critics in the industry:P
  when they walked out of nose, two indian girls were looking at james. well,logically,they cant be interested in him:P perhaps, it could be one of jane’s friend or worst,her relatives! so,they quietly tried avoiding them,and didnt hold hand or do anything suspicious.

   jane wanted to eat cake,so they went to secret recipe.jane is totally addicted to secret recipe and cakes! of course,james will surely bring her there,as jane said she was hungry.and if you have been following my stories,you will know NEVER EVER keep jane hungry:P so,they were walking to secret recipe in KLCC,while jane was already starting to imagine the mouth watering cake she is about to eat.on their way there,they were intercepted by the 2 very same indian girls.who are they?! why are they preventing us from eating cakes!?
"hello miss,are you a malaysian?" one of them asked.
the confused jane answered " yes i am"
"well,we are from an agency" the other girl said " we are actually scouting for a model for future advertisement like pantene,bla bla bla bla(from this point onwards,james wasnt listening,so he didnt remember much of the companies mentioned)"
   "would you like to give it a try? i think you have the talent and the looks,you look very good,and you have a very sweet smile.boyfriend,you should encourage her" she continued
james took a fast look at jane…believe it or not,she was RED! in james’s entire life,he never saw her RED! the 2 girls were non stop buttering her! sweet smile la,smooth face la,nice features la…so MANY MANY compliments:D!
"yes jane," said james in a SOOO NOT encouraging tone "try,try"

   jane then gave her contact information to the scouts,james was just trying to contain his laughter and seeing jane actually blush for the first time in his life:P it is certainly not a sight that you get to see often,NOT at all:D

   well,after the 2 scouts have left,james continued walking to secret recipe while continue giggling about the incident:P when suddenly,jane said " i dont think we should go to secret recipe"

"huh?" james went blur. " why!?"
and do you guys know what jane answered " i cannot afford to eat cakes. i have to keep my figure"

note : thanks to ong kee lin of legends for reminding me of this incident.

the legends taekwondo academy championship was to take place. planning and organizing is not an easy work,and not to mention,a lot of financial stresses too.

4 weeks before tournament :
the first aid team of sekolah sultan abdul samad could not make it to the tournament.a replacement team was to be found. due to the financial limitations, the organizers were unable to hire professional first aid team.volunteers will be needed.

3 weeks before tournament :
the chairman of the organizing committee later seeked help from fellow committee members. james volunteered and promised he will seek someone he knows.

2 weeks before tournament :
james contacted himawari, who happened to be his friend and also the vice president of his former school red crescent society. a team was formed,and the names submitted to the organizing chairman.

**in this list,jane was one of them. the ONLY indian girl in the list.PLUS,james didnt tell any of his taekwondo friends about jane and him being together.so here,the fun begins:P**

1st day of tournament :
jane,nothing much to do.walks around.looks everywhere.small kids fighting.big kids fighting.everyone fighting.she got bored,and came over to and asked james,why is everyone fighting so ganas. (its a taekwondo tournament la dong,what u expect!!!!). of course,james was so kind and nice,he didnt say that to jane.he replied nicely and gentle. there was also a few indian boys who disturned jane,tried hitting on her.  there was this guy,lets call him teethies.he was an official,from penang. he was like a cross breed between humans and alien. super skinny,48 kilograms and his teeth was popping out from his mouth. thus,he earned the name,teethies.
by lunch time, james told many of his friends that he and jane were together. so,many of them knew about it already.jullian was being annoying too..shouting at jane " PBSM!!PBSM!! ".such a typical bully. jane got so pissed off,and went straight to jullian,and said "hi". jullian freaked out,didnt say a word back,and walked away….JULLIAN U COWARD:D!

day 2 of tournament :

   its the black belts event.james was taking part.jane was still in the first aid team.from here onwards,we will be jullian,who was witnessing something truly incredible.

the thoughts in jullians head…" ok,the middleweight event.james is in this ring.this is an interesting event. lets see if james is ready.hmm..he doesnt look too focused.where is he looking? HUH? that PBSM girl? what? she looking at him too? whats with the eye contact.i get it, i think they are both talking using their eyes.wow,AMAZING!" (idiot)
  10 minutes later
  "yes,its james turn to spar! the opponent looks tough..damn,james just fell down.(jane used 2 hands to cover her mouth from shouting ) .yes james,thats the way,kick him! (jane got so excited,she stood up from her chair!) damn,james fell again (jane’s eyes started to form tears)

somehow,james won that fight,and got silver.jullian went and asked james,how come he fought so well!? (no special reason,train la!) "its becoz jane was by ur ring side,right?" jullian asked. "no wonder today so good,usually so lousy!"

jane could have gotten a heart attack if she saw james spar another 3 rounds.luckily,the match ended:P

the whole event continued.till the last finale….it was the black belt team sparring event….and legends opponent was…PENANG. yes,he was there..the guy we know as…teethies!
surprisingly, he must have got his alien genes with him.he was fast,agile and pretty good.

so,legends sent a pretty good fighter against him,gola. gola has observed teethies move before, and understood how he would fight.he went in there with confidence.the match began.

"first shot,left leg side kick" gola predicted. he evaded the move easily.
"2nd shot,right leg turning kick " gola side stepped,and countered the move.
"3rd shot,right leg back kick" gola moved his head back,evaded the move…..or so he THOUGHT he evaded the move.he predicted wrongly,and the kick hit his nose.blood started gushing out.

"PBSM!!!!" jullian shouted. (finally,he shouted at the right time,ONCE!)

jane and the gang rushed in to the rescue.(i dont really think they know what they are doing actually)

gola was surrounded by all his friends,james included. jane took gola,and places his head on her lap.gola started smiling (weirdo). james held gola’s head,and applied the ice bag to gola’s nose.gola started laughing (who laughs when u have blood non stop coming out).

"how can u still laugh man? he hit ur nose,not ur head!" james told him.
gola continued laughing. (it was that freaky laugh!!)

the ambulance came in,then,gola was bought to the hospital.everything ended. jane’s mother later came and met james. she asked " hey james, do u know anyone who can teach taekwondo?"
"well,i can" james answered.
"oh,i mean anyone who can teach taekwondo well?"
now thats bad! thats insulting!!!!
"i can teach well:P" james answered.but i dont think jane’s mother bought it!

few days later,james and friends went to visit gola in the hospital. as soon as james entered,gola was smiling like a pervert.
"whats with u? why are u smiling?" james asked.

and do u guys know what gola replied!? " i lied down on her lap,then she put ice on me! im sure as her boyfriend,even u never got that treatment!"

……………….god damn u gola! true,i never,i mean,james never got that treatment before! STILL,james is NOT jealous!!

this happened a few years back.2 years ago,i believe.jane rarely gets jealous,but this situation,has got her VERY jealous.well,lets just say,that pretti and james are pretty close friends.lets view back the phone call that was made back then between james and jane.

james : hey,i just reached home.

jane : just? its 12 midnight! u went out with pretti since 10 am,and ur just coming back!? what did you guys do!?

james : well,we went out,watched some movie,had something to eat and all.after dinner,i went back to her house

jane : WHAT!? u went to her HOUSE!?!??!?!

james : stop yelling! yeah,she said her computer has a lot of spyware problems,so i followed her back home and helped her out with it.well,judging from the situation then,well,kinda screwed

jane : WHAT!!?!?? u kinda SCREWED her!?

james : NOOO! i meant the computer was screwed! the spyware detected was more than 200! the pc wasnt even moving! the comp was screwed! i didnt screw anyone la!

jane: oh,her parents was at home,right?

james : i tot they were.but no,they werent gonna be back for another hour it seems.i didnt know that.

jane : WHAT!?? only you and her in the house!?!?!?this is not right..so not right…then!? wat was she doing? staring at u all the time while ur screwing the computer!? (never understood why is she mad)

james : geez,i wasnt screwing the computer.no,she wasnt actually beside me,she went to take a bath

jane : WHAT!?? how could she..james..you…how can she take a bath!? thats horrible!

james : YEAH! i cant believe she took her bath! oh my god..can u believe it,she actually went to her OWN house,and took a BATH! jesus..i dont know why people take a bath when they were out the whole day….pretti was horrible..she took a bath!

jane : why are u being sarcastic with me!?

james : well,u made taking a bath look like a big sin…so,i played along.ok so what do u want me to do? i promise when someone is in my house,i wont take a bath.is that ok with you?

jane : no,its not about taking a bath..i dunno la…its just..u know

james : i dont know

well,the jealousy continued on for quite sum time.pretti made the BEST ice lemon tea for james. james was so mesmerized by the ice lemon tea,that he dropped the glass,and broke it.the glass broke when pretti was bathing,so,james didnt know what to do,its not his house,he doesnt know where the broom is. (to think back now,it was a good excuse to knock on her bathroom door,DAMN IT!)

mess cleared.even until today, jane is still jealous of this girl pretti.and nowdays,pretti is nicknamed ice lemon tea:)

moral of the story : dont take a bath when ur friend is in the house.

   well,this happened A LONG time back..well,not that long.about a month or two back. the indian cultural society had some talent night event.james was not suppose to be there,no.why?
because jane’s mother was there.why is jane’s mother there? well,of course the mother had to send her to malacca from KL,but mainly,it was because jane needed her mother to tie the sari.(apparently,the sari wearing process is a complicated one,i dont know,since i never wore one).
  well,james wanted to make a surprise visit.so,he gathered 3 of his friends and made a very last minute planned trip to malacca. a quick phone call to someone in malacca,ordered the tickets for the event,and james also gave a phone call to dragon about him coming there.of coz,dragon was to keep the secret and not tell jane.
  well,the hard part was to surprise jane.the plan apparently backfired in a way.dragon was in the car,together with james and 3 of his friends.lets name them friend A,B and C.dragon told jane that he will meet jane at the front entrance of her apartment.then,james was suppose to stylishly drive his small car and appear in front of jane and say "SURPRISE:D"!
but guess what happened? as james was driving,he saw something…
"hm…? a green proton wira…?" he wondered "the lady looks familiar too.and its a kl number plat.and the number is……"

ITS MOTHER IN LAW!
james then pulls the handbrake,spins the car around and ran away!!! close call! we dont want to have her mother asking james "what are u doing here all the way from KL?"

well,plan B. james,dragon and friends A,B,C waits at the parking space in front of the mamak stall. dragon was to meet them somewhere nearby,and was suppose to SMARTLY lure them to where james was waiting.oh smartly…wasnt a word to describe dragon when it comes to surprises.this is how it went once dragon met jane

dragon : eh,lets go to the mamak stall (he could have said the stationery store,convenience store,all nearby,but he didnt)
jane : what? in my sari and heels? what for!? are u hungry?
dragon : no im not hungry (then why would u go to a mamak stall?to get a condom!?)
jane : then? why mamak stall now?
dragon : simply. just for fun (yes..mamak stall is the happening spot in town.u go there for fun)
jane : sumthing sounds fishy…

OF COZ it will sound fishy!!! well,i dont think dragon is that dumb,he is prolly just HORRIBLE at lying.or maybe he is….well,i dont know.jane kinda suspected from dragons behaviour that there was sumthing.so,the surprise element was cut down to half.still,she was surprised:)

then again,without dragon,a lot of things wouldnt have happened. not only was he helpful ( a place to crash and all), he is also jane’s personal bodyguard currently.lets hope james pay him his monthly wages well:P

4:00 am : wakes up to do assignment which is due at 12pm
5:00 am : unable to keep eyes open,sets alarm clock for a 15 minutes nap
5:15 am : alarm clock ring.alarm clock went quiet.no movement detected.
6:45 am : realize hasn’t finished assignment,not much time left.plans to finish it in college.
7:15 am : leaves to college
8:00 am : have not completed assignment.skips class number 1
10:00 am : still not completed assignment. skips class number 2
10:10 am : got bored of doing assignment.went on MSN and met james. planned to meet wasnt possible since taekwondo is at 1pm
10:30 am : cancelled taekwondo plans at 1 pm.planned to meet at 1245 pm
12:00 pm : passes up assignment.moves to meet at ioi mall
12:45 pm : met james.went to the arcade.couldnt play initial D as the arcade was full.
12:47 pm : took a look at the shopkeeper with the short skirt
12:50 pm : arcade still full
12:55 pm : another chinese girl with short skirts pass by,took a look again
12:56 pm : this time,an aunty with short pants pass by.around the age of 40.took a look,and adored her..( YOU SICK BASTARD!!)
1:00 pm : sick of waiting. planned to try the arcade at midvalley instead
1:30 pm : reached midvalley,equally full
1:35 pm : went walking around midvalley, saw couple of UGLY tshirt and shoes…but with coo coo birdie’s horrible taste,he says it was beautiful.
3:00 pm : left midvalley
4:00 pm : start working
5:00 pm : still working
7:00 pm : working
9:00 pm : yeap,u guessed it,working still
11:00 pm :……………………………………..hurry up and get out of starbucks,u workaholic!
12:30 pm : FINALLY,finished work.head home.slept

the world most monotonous person. coo coo birdie.
entertainment level : 0%